99 Surprises

It’s not very often that you get the opportunity to attend a 99^thbirthday party. In fact, I decided it was such an honour that it was worth flying back to the UK from Cambodia just for the occasion. I don’t usually visit the UK in the summer – it had been two years since I had done so and I realised perhaps it was time to remind myself that it’s not always cold and rainy in Blighty.

Once the idea was in my mind, I knew this trip would be the perfect chance to surprise my family. I’d always wanted to organise a surprise visit but never quite knew how it would work. Without letting friends and family know of your arrival, you run the risk of returning only to find people already have plans and don’t have time to see you. Logistically, however, this wasn’t going to be a problem as I knew all of my family were gathering together for my grandad’s party. This ‘all’ included my older sister, Fran, who lives in Perth and was returning for the 99^th party too.

Little sister, big sister, me

I decided to tell Fran about the surprise and we attempted (and failed) to coordinate our flights. Having someone on the inside really helped, however. I also told my friend Anna who generously offered to pick me up from the airport and drove me to the holiday home where my parents were staying for party weekend. Fran was able to provide us with all the details and even told us to wait halfway up the drive when my parents went outside unexpectedly.

You’d think after 28 years that my mum would recognise her daughter but there was a definite pause of about one second before she registered who was stood on the doorstep. My little sister, who I was next to surprise, started crying (although she claims this was shock, not an overwhelming love for her big sister …).

My first day back in the UK was typically English. Anna joined us for the day and we went for a walk through the woodland, had ice-creams and visited a pretty village. The afternoon was sent at a pick-your-own fruit farm, over the course of which we may or may not have snaffled a strawberry or two. That evening, we had a mega picnic outside, complete with Pimms.

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The other two surprises occurred on the weekend at my grandad’s 99^thparty. Amazingly, yet unsurprisingly for people who know him, my granddad knew right away that I, out of his many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, wasn’t supposed to be there. There were other cousins and their children to greet as well and then finally my brother arrived with his kids and I was able to surprise him too.

Here’s a link to the little montage video of these surprises (WordPress wouldn’t allow me to upload it).

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The rest of my time in the UK was spent working and seeing as many people as possible. I was in the country for 8 days and only in Devon for 4 so everyone was squeezed in for a where possible. From chips in the local pub to a BBQ and movie in our field, this brief time reminded me that perhaps the weather in the UK isn’t always so bad. I even managed to see two friends from Warwick as I travelled through London.

 

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The final weekend was spent in Italy where I visited friends from Kampot. The logic here was that, compared to Cambodia, Italy is close … Sabina left in May (there’s a blog about that) and returned to her family home just north of Venice. I had three beautiful days in the mountains with her and her family where we caught up on one another’s lives, ate delicious food and drank spritz and Prosecco. It was short but sweet and definitely worth the two-hour flight. Also, my nice camera got an outing …

 

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After one more night in London, which I spent with my niece and nephew, it was time to head back to Cambodia. The whole trip took less than 2 weeks and was definitely busy but totally worth it. Back in Kampot it proceeded to rain for weeks on end, resulting in terrible flooding and people being forced out of their homes. For once in my life, I found myself wishing I was back in the UK to escape the terrible weather – fairly sure that sentence has never been said before. Life is full of surprises.

The Sun Sets On Another Year

After the year we’ve had, I think most people are looking forward to waving a firm goodbye to 2016 and welcoming 2017 with open arms. I mean, it can’t get any worse can it? Brexit and Trump, the war in Syria, mass shootings, terrorist attacks, the loss of Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Prince, Victoria Wood, Muhammad Ali, Elie Wiesel, Gene Wilder, Leonard Cohen, and then in the final few days a flurry of George Michael, Richard Adams, Carrie Fisher, and Debbie Reynolds. I don’t usually swear on my blog but I think at this point it’s fair to say “2016, fuck off!”

And yet … it’s not been all bad. Ok, it’s been pretty terrible but a few good things did happen in 2016. They may have passed you by, buried beneath headlines about Brexit and the American election and nuclear weapons and Syria and the refugee crisis but they’ve been there. So I’m returning to my usual happy self and reminding you of ten happy events of 2016 to restore some faith in our planet and humankind.

10. Ebola was cleared from West Africa.

9. 200 strangers went to the funeral of a homeless World War II veteran with no family.

8. Humpback whales, grizzly bears, manatees, and giant pandas all moved (positively) up the endangered list.

7. 800 of the Boko Harem hostages were rescued and returned to their families.

6. The hole in the ozone layer has shrunk by 3.9 million square kilometres in the past ten years

5. Volunteers in India planted 50 million trees in 24 hours.

4. Scientific breakthroughs in chemotherapy are increasing survival rates.

3. The Paris climate change agreement became international law in November.

2. The worldwide charitable drive for ALS in 2014 has led to scientists isolating the gene responsible and they have begun to work on a therapy.

1. Charitable giving and acts saw a significant increase worldwide.

Of course, the last one is a subject particularly close to my heart. I doubt I can claim my own charity, SKOPE, had much to do with the increase in charity across the globe but I’m proud to have been part of it. Both in my role as SKOPE coordinator and as a happiness ambassador to More Good Deeds, I read a lot about giving to charity, philanthropy, and how to involve people in charitable works. But it seems I needn’t bother, because everywhere you look there are signs of generosity, both financial and in other ways. Giving your time, your energy, your commitment, and your money all help charities. With politics in turmoil across the globe, it is down to us, the little people, to do that work on the ground. Whether in refugee camps ladling out soup each morning, or in medical tents outside obliterated cities like Aleppo, or even my own charity, handing out library books or stationary in a school in Cambodia, it all matters. It all makes a difference. And every one of us can get involved.

So let’s end 2016 on a positive note and look forward to 2017 with hope in our hearts. After all, it can only go up from here! I hope every one of you has a great time celebrating New Year’s Eve tonight and I’ll see you on the other side.

Happy-Go-Lucky

I’m a generally happy person, always have been I suppose. But over the last couple of weeks I’ve started thinking more about happiness: what it is, where it comes from, and how we can achieve it. Which is an interesting thing to be thinking about in a Buddhist country where the local belief system teaches us not to focus on emotions, which are fleeting and ever-changing, but to concentrate instead on clearing our minds of any and all desires, hopes, and fears. Only then will we know true peace.

These thoughts were kickstarted by an article sent to me by my godmother, illustrating the findings of the World Happiness Report 2016. You didn’t read it? Here’s a summary of what is found to make people and countries happy:

1. Social support so that you have friends and family to count on in times of trouble
2. Freedom to choose what you do in life
3. Generosity and how much people donate to charity
4. Absence of corruption in business and government
5. GDP
6. Healthy life expectancy

The reason this article was sent to me was because of the third point. You see, supporting SKOPE by clicking on our Crowdfunder page now and donating some money will make you happy … Sorry, I digress. But yes, giving to charity makes people happy so I like to think that a significant part of why I’m happy out here in Cambodia is because I work for a charity I truly believe to be making a difference. I also have an amazing group of friends, both in Cambodia, the UK, and now around the world (expats move a lot). Thanks to Skype, Whats App and Facebook the distance hardly matters and I know I can rely on them when things get tough. As for choosing what I want to do in life? I’d say I was doing exactly what I want to do right now with no thought about how my choice will affect anyone but me. And I have the freedom to be selfish like this because of my abundance of point number one. But what about the last three points?

Cambodia ranked 140th out of 157 countries for the World Happiness Rankings 2013-15. Obviously it’s impossible to know exactly why Cambodians scored so poorly but let’s take a look at points 4, 5, and 6 in relation to this country I currently call home.

Corruption. Every year Transparency International publishes corruption indexes and every year there is some politician in Cambodia complaining that the figures are bias and incorrect. In 2013, Cambodian came 160th out of 177 countries. The UK came 14th. In 2014, Cambodia came 156th out of 175 countries. The UK came 14th again. In 2015, Cambodia came 150th out of 168 countries. The UK came 10th. Cambodia is one of the most corrupt countries in the world. Millions of dollars of aid flood into the country every year and significant portions of that money is unaccounted for. Well, unless you happen to drive past the Independence Monument and glance at the house on the corner of Norodom Boulevard and Sihanouk Boulevard. I’ll say no more here in case I’m deported but those of you who know Phnom Penh will know exactly whose house I’m talking about.

The current Gross Domestic Product of Cambodia is $16.78 billion. The population is 15.33 million. Imagine this product was divided fairly: each Cambodian would receive $1094.59 per annum. The current GDP of the UK is $2.989 trillion. The population is 64.51 million. If this product was divided fairly, each Brit would receive $46,333.90. And people say money can’t buy happiness.

Finally let’s take a look at the average life expectancy. Cambodia’s health care system is … limited. The average life expectancy in Cambodia is 71 years. In Vietnam it’s 75 and in Thailand it’s 74. And the UK races ahead with 81 years. Well it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out you’re more likely to be happy if you’re not anticipating your life coming to an end earlier than modern science should allow.

So in conclusion, if your country’s government is full of greedy, selfish, soulless men (yes, it is mostly men), grasping desperately to their power and killing (literally) potential political rivals, if you’re a policeman getting paid $70 per month or a salt-fields worker paid just a couple of dollars per day, and if you’re quite likely to meet an untimely end when you fall sick with a curable illness but don’t have the money to pay your poorly trained local doctor to cure you, you’re quite likely to be unhappy.

As a side note, when the word ‘happy’ first entered the English language towards the end of the 14th century, it meant lucky. Perhaps it still does today: from the facts and figures above and if we want to make a sweeping generalisation we are happy if we are lucky enough to be born in the right country. I’d describe myself as a happy-go-lucky person but would that be the case if I had been born in Cambodia? I’d like to think so: I love this country! But the figures suggest otherwise.

But I don’t want this to be a depressive blog entry, so I’m going to end with some comments from my Grade 5 class. For their journal activity this week, I asked them: “What makes you happy?” Their simple answers will warm your hearts.

• I was happy when I went to see a fox at the zoo – David
• I am happy when I am watching Cartoon Network – Mony
• I was happy when I got a new helmet because I don’t want my head to be broken – Sak
• I am happy when I have a lot of friends who like to play with me because they are very funny – Sasda
• I am happy when I don’t have spellings – Piseth
• I am happy when Teacher Ruth says my point is good – Sokheng
• I am happy when I am eating pizza and listening to music – Bush
• I am happy when I am reading my storybook – Sovannary
• I am happy when I have lots of noodles to eat – Davy

Sometimes, you just need to remember that children make up about 27 per cent of the world’s population and those in Cambodia have some of the brightest smiles.

Oh and in case you’re interested the UK came 23rd out of 157 countries in the world happiness rankings 2013-15.

To read more about the reports and articles mentioned above, click on these links.

http://whatworkswellbeing.org

http://worldhappiness.report/ed/2016/

https://www.transparency.org

Ruth Lemon BA, MA

Life is full of twists and turns. OK most of mine revolve around Cambodia: every decision somehow bringing me back to this wonderful country, but I could not have predicted what happened this week.

I’ll set the scene:

I visited the University of Warwick campus in the summer of 2000 when I was 10 years old. I was visiting my big brother Jamie where he was studying Politics and Sociology and we went to see him performing in Guys and Dolls. My mother is an alumnus Warwick as well and I was in awe of this shiny, exciting, vibrant university campus. I resolved there and then that I was going to attend this fantastic institution. But then I had to actually study. Which I did really (quite) diligently until I was sixteen. Seriously, my GCSEs were great! Just a shame those qualifications literally mean nothing in the real world. So when I left high school with three B’s (in English, Maths, and History) for my A levels, the university ranked number six in the country funnily enough rejected my application.

Huh. Life plan scuppered.

What to do? Hide in Cambodia for seven months and volunteer in an orphanage whilst thinking up a back-up plan, of course.

Anna, Loung, me and Kirat in 2009

Back-up plan! Cardiff University. I loved my three years in the Welsh capital and I wouldn’t change it for the world (well, most of it). But Warwick still niggled at the back of my mind. So when I graduated in 2012 with a 2:1 in History and Sociology I … went to volunteer in Cambodia again. What? It’s like an addiction!

But then the money ran out and I came back to England. Equipped with my 2:1 BA in History and Sociology I began work … in a pub. I loved it, honestly! And then I realised I missed education and I wanted to go back. I wanted to learn again. I wanted more letters after my name.

But what to study?

Really? Is that even a question? Cambodian history, duh!

But where to study?

Well this was a little harder because, shockingly, there aren’t too many professors who are well read in Cambodian history. But through a wonderful, fantastic, bizarre twist of fate, one of the few universities which could accommodate me was Warwick!

My Masters by Research was basically a mini PhD. I had no lectures, no seminars and set my own research area. Cambodia, naturally. And I was wonderfully supported by my two supervisors throughout this process despite innumerable people advising me not to make my Masters research so niche. Obviously I didn’t listen.

So after five years and three mediocre A level results, I was finally at the university of my childhood dreams, studying my passion and surrounded by people who have become some of my closest friends.

Top: Marie Louise, Helene, Sandra. Bottom: Alica, me, Ruth, Elyshia

And then, 58,000 words and 228 pages later, I was finished! Using oral histories I had analysed the Khmer Rouge rule and Cambodian society’s gendered expectations. I can tell you’re intrigued. Let me know if you want me to email you the PDF …

The beasts!

So what to do now?

Go back to Cambodia, of course!

Only this time it was a little different. Instead of volunteering I had an actual job: teaching at Sovann Komar Orphanage and School. I moved to Phnom Penh. It was my new home. It is my home. See, I blog about it!

And even now my life is pulling me back to Warwick in the form of a great honour which has been bestowed upon me this week. You are, right now, reading the words and wisdom (?) of the University of Warwick’s Alumnus of the Month. Yes, the pleasure is all yours. I contacted Warwick because, rather big-headedly, I thought they might be interested in SKOPE, my charity. Turns out, they were! They offered to feature me on their alumni website detailing what I am doing in Cambodia and how I have moved from studying history Warwick to charity work. So if you’re not already bored of my waffling, please give it a read. It’s a far more informative, better written piece and will give any of you who don’t know an idea of what I’m doing out here in Cambodia.

BA, MA … PhD?

Home Sweet Home

I’ve returned to England for a two week holiday. This trip was initially arranged around the date of my Masters graduation. Unfortunately the University of Warwick didn’t know what to do with my thesis which I’d submitted early (because I had a job to start in Cambodia) so they popped it in a drawer … and forgot about it for three months. By the time they found it and sent it to the external examiners, it was too late and I was told I would be unable to attend my graduation. Crap. But the plane tickets were booked and my stash of good British chocolate was running dangerously low so I decided to stick to my flight dates and headed home. Now I know winter is cold but Jesus Christ when I stepped off the plane at Heathrow (in flip flops because my trainers didn’t go with my outfit), I was tempted to turn around and head back to the seat I’d been confined to for the past 14 hours and fly straight back to the Asian sunshine. How was I ever able to deal with this freezing weather? Admittedly I had arrived in a particularly cold spell but even so. I’d become so accustomed to waking up every morning to brilliant sunshine that I hadn’t realised what an impact that has on your life. Sun makes me happy, it’s as simple as that. Clouds and frost make me want to hibernate in my luxurious bed with a 15 tog duvet or curl up like a cat in front of the wood burner – both of these have happened several times in the last two weeks. It was great to see my mum in arrivals, although she then asked me to drive the 200 ish miles home because she’d been kept awake by a fridge in the hotel, so loaded up with good coffee, we hit the M4.

Reunited with my mum at Heathrow

Three hours later and I was walking through the door to my childhood home, greeted by my dog, who seemed genuinely happy to see me for once, and then my newly retired dad and my post-kidney removal little sister and her boyfriend. I had well and truly come home. It’s funny how so little changes and how quickly you fall back into a routine. Familiarity with one’s family is so innate that it felt as if I’d never been away. The only difference seemed to be my inability to deal with cold weather – so my parents decided a trip to the beach would be a good idea on my first day back! Coat, scarf, hat, hot chips (French fries for my American buddies), and I just about managed to ward of hypothermia whilst enjoying the fresh sea air.

Me and my sister huddling in the car whist her boyfriend braves the cold weather!

Me with my mum and dad on Sheldon Ness beach on the first day

Me and Kay, my former bar supervisor turned friend

As I only had a limited amount of time in the UK, I had to fit in visiting as many friends as possible. These included one of the elderly ladies in my village, one of my closest friends who is now looking after my horse, my former work supervisor from when I was a bartender at university, a friend continuing her PhD at Warwick, my spinning instructor, former babysitting clients turned friends, and my best friend Anna with whom I volunteered and lived for seven months in Cambodia back in 2009. Saturday night in London saw a big get together of many of my Warwick friends, predominantly because they were all in the country because they had graduated … the exact reason I was in fact in the UK. Despite not having endured a two hour ceremony nor shaking hands with the university dean, I decided to celebrate being in the UK and reunited with some very good friends I’d not seen for five months.

The gang!

I was also able to see many family members, including my 96 year old grandfather and my brother’s two young children … and my brother and his wife. This get-together was also a brilliant excuse to enjoy some good pub grub! Once again, as a family we fell into our familiar routine, despite them not having seen me for five months and knowing that I would not be back in the UK before November.

Dinner with a lot of lemons!
L to R – Jamie (big bro), mum, grandad, Molly, me, Thomas and Flo. And thanks Emma for taking the picture!

Me with my niece, Florence

Look how pleased with my scroll I am!

As for the original purpose of the trip? Well Warwick may have royally screwed up but you can always rely on your friends to make any situation better. When Rachel texted me asking if I could pick up the pizzas before heading to Emily’s house for our reunion, I happily accepted. After a slight delay when I somehow found myself trapped in a car park and had to call a nice man to ask him to raise the barrier, I finally arrived with a teetering tower of cheesy goodness. Upon arrival, I saw that my wonderful friends Rachel, Emily, Becky, and Rory had decorated Emily’s house with a graduation theme. There were banners, balloons, and sparkly graduation caps adorning the walls and doorways.

Champagne!!!

After dinner they presented me with my very own hand-made robes, the trim of which looks remarkably like the twitter logo – they know me too well! I had a cap and everything! Becky even presented me with my scroll proclaiming my successful graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was so touched that they’d gone to such an effort, and the champagne toast (with mandatory graduation confetti in my glass) was the icing on the cake. This is my public thank you to you four amazing people – that hilarious, thoughtful night was a highlight of my trip.

I’m a graduate!!
L to R – Emily, Rachel, me, Becky

Before returning to Cambodia, I put out the call on Facebook, offering to buy things for friends in Phnom Penh who wouldn’t be returning home any time soon. The amount of chocolate I ended up buying forced me to do a disclaimer to Sainsburys’ cashier lest she thought I was attempting to give myself diabetes! I swear it took up half my suitcase by the time I’d packed!

Can someone say chocolate?

Snow Selfie!

I enjoyed my time at home immensely but after two weeks of being cold – it even snowed one day – I was more than happy to be boarding at Heathrow, once again clad in flip flops (Reading station that morning was not fun!). I was greeted at my apartment by three friends and an iced coffee – the perfect welcome home. And to be honest, sitting at work the following day writing this, it feels like I never left!

The Lemons