“I feel like we might remain friends.”

Thirteen years ago next month, I first came to Cambodia as a beady eyed, ignorant sixteen year old; eager to see the world and discover new cultures. This country captured my heart the moment I arrived and thus dictated my path over the following decade. Today, I leave Cambodia and, I must admit, the country which I fell in love with has broken my heart, just a little.

For the most part, this is a happy blog. It’s about the friends I met, the opportunities I seized, the memories which will stay with me forever. But, before I get all nostalgic, one thing must be noted. This country has changed, as all countries do. And while the old Cambodia I fell in love with is still here, I’m now only seeing glimpses of that world, as international development and influences sweep through. I won’t name names. But let’s just say the speed of “their” economic expansion here has been terrifying and needs to be reined in. I think it’s safe to criticise this “government” when you’re about to board a plane, right? I just hope the charming, friendly, beautiful country which I once knew manages to retain as much of its culture as possible. From where I stand, it’s slipping away, one casino at a time.

The decision to leave after living here for five years wasn’t made overnight. It was carefully considered but I came to the conclusion that I was ready to move on and that Cambodia was no longer the place for me. It was a decision I couldn’t have imagined making eighteen months ago but now, sat in the taxi on the way to the airport, I can’t imagine staying. Life changes fast sometimes. Not everything changes; I keep my job thanks to my wonderful boss. I’m bringing my cat because who doesn’t want to invest $1,000 in a bundle of fur who bites you if she’s bored of being stroked? And I’ll be returning to my childhood home, where my wonderful parents are graciously allowing me to return for a few months.

A lot has happened in the past five years, let alone the past thirteen. A levels, gap years (two), undergraduate degree, masters degree, teaching, setting up a charity, starting to write, getting paid to write, working for a business, becoming a team manager. You never know where life will take you but I’ve been riding the waves which crest before me and I’m pretty happy with the direction my board is heading. Heading back to Devon clearly brings out teenage surfer Ruth…

I am of course leaving behind a lot of amazing friends. I’m known (in my mind) for my goodbye blogs, written for people when they leave Cambodia but I’m afraid I don’t have the time nor the emotional energy to write one for all you wonderful people I’m saying farewell to in the kingdom of wonder. So I’ll just say thank you here. Thank you, to each and every one of you. From the friends I met in my first weeks in Phnom Penh back in 2014 to the families who welcomed me into their homes in Kampot to my Khmer friends who have taught me so much about this country and showed me its inner beauty and everyone in between. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I feel incredibly privileged to have spent the last five years with a group of kind, funny, intelligent, eclectic individuals. I will miss you all so much but I know this isn’t goodbye forever, just for a while.

And then there are the friends who have already left. Phnom Penh in particular holds ghosts for me, most of them Casper-like. I walk down streets which have changed not-so-subtly over the years and remember dinners, nights out, dodgeball tournaments, tuk tuk journeys and so much more. Some of my closest friendships were formed here and while some have faded over time, a few remain strong, even with oceans between us. I suppose now I’m the one putting oceans between friends. But with technology and determination, these connections can endure. And I’ll make sure they do.

The title of this blog came from one of my closest friends, at the end of my last night in Kampot. You know what? I feel the same way. This country bonds you; the experiences, the challenges, the memories, the moments which make it truly live up to its name of “the Kingdom of Wonder.” Sometimes, wondering is all you can do here. And Cambodia, despite everything you’ve thrown at me and put my some of friends through, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

This will be the last blog post for Lemon in Cambodia. Lemon in Devon doesn’t have quite the same ring to it but I’m excited about my new adventure nonetheless. Sat in a taxi, bumping my way towards the airport, with the most expensive cat I will ever own asleep in her travel crate beside me, I know I’ve made the right decision. This is the first time I’ve been leaving Cambodia and felt good about it. Usually I’m sick to my stomach and bawling my eyes out. I’m nervous, I’m sad, but above all else, I can’t wait to find out what happens now. It’s my time, and Nugget’s. I’m ready; for the next chapter, the next challenge, the next step. At the age of 29, I’m growing up, I’m settling down.

Cambodia, you beautiful, illogical, hilarious, insane, friendly, scary, unforgettable place, in the words of Fall Out Boy, thanks for the memories.

KP – From PP to NT

I’ve always wanted a friend who went by their initials. For some reason the concept seemed innately ‘cool’ and luckily for me, KP did not disappoint! Photo one is Exhibit A in coolness.

It is almost two years to the day that I met KP. We were both invited by friends who were friends to a dinner one weekday in Phnom Penh. There was a big group of us but I do distinctly remember KP and thinking she, much like her initials, was ‘cool’. A few weeks after our meal, I headed back to the UK for Christmas as always but resolved upon my return to message KP and arrange to get together with her. She beat me to it however and invited me out to dinner shortly after I landed back in the Kingdom.

I suppose our friendship blossomed from there. Cambodia and other expat communities have a funny way of throwing people together who, in another other context, would probably not have crossed paths. But I’m immensely glad that KP and I not only met but had the opportunities to become friends.

Just a few months into our friendship, however, KP decided to leave Cambodia. She, being the sociable person she is, had no less than three going away parties. I, being the awesome friend I am, attended two of them. But then mere weeks after returning to her native Australia, she announced she was back for another volunteer stint!

KP at her first going away drinks

By the time KP got back to Phnom Penh, I was living in Kampot so we had to accept weekends hanging out rather than random evenings whenever we felt like it (KP lived opposite my old house in Phnom Penh). We had many an adventure together, including exploring (twice) the secret waterfall (we were successful the second time), many meals at Greenhouse, numerous lunches at Sesame Noodle (at my behest), an exploration of Silk Island and a massage or two at Banteay Srey Spa.

Inevitably in Cambodia, people move on. I’m sad to see KP leaving but I’m also very excited to see the next chapter of her life unfurl. The job she’s moving to begin in the Northern Territory of Australia is not only an amazing opportunity for her career but also just an awesome thing to be doing. She’ll be working in Darwin with women in prison there and I’m so proud of her.

Of course, in true KP style, there were three going away parties once more. Due to my being in Kampot, I was only able to go to one of them and I decided to surprise her. It was, and I quote: “The best surprise ever.” I’ll take that endorsement.

I’m honoured to have been friends with KP for the past two years and I’m very much going to miss this confidant from my circle of Cambodian friends. KP is unlike anyone else I have ever met and our friendship is something I know will continue and will be cherished for years to come. Thanks to WhatsApp and Facebook and Skype (and a possible move for me to Australia) I have no doubt that we’ll stay in close touch.

KP, thank you for the awesome times. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the hilarious memories. Thank you for the TV evenings. Thank you for the random nights out. Thank you for the cranberry vodka. And thank you for coming back to Cambodia after leaving too soon the first time around. If you ever decide to come back again, we’ll all welcome you back with open arms! Good luck in the NT. PP KP, over and out.

A Tale of Two Ruths: You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone

Last week I had to say goodbye to one of my best friend’s in Cambodia: my former flatmate and tv watching buddy, Ruth. No I’m not talking about myself in the third person, we just happened to have the same name. This blog post is my way of honouring our friendship by remembering some of the best things about our time together in this amazing country.

Ruth and I met through an Expat in Cambodia Facebook group before I’d even arrived in Phnom Penh last summer. We were both looking for a place to live and agreed that if we got on well when we met up, we’d look for an apartment together. Ten days after my plane touched down last August we were living in our wonderful apartment. We lived there for six months before she moved to take over a friend’s lease and I moved into a different apartment with several friends.

Toasting the first night of both Ruths in “The Ruths”

Living with Ruth was awesome! She would always make me cups of tea (I haven’t drunk one since moving out because I’m too lazy), her tolerance for dirt was a little lower than mine so she always cleaned the apartment (I now have a cleaner), and we also got on really well. As we were both British, we bonded over various things from back home. I even arrived in August with several things from England for Ruth, including a jar marmite which I know for a fact she never used!

Ruth helped me revive Fish Friday. This was a tradition I started with one of my best friends, Mandy, back in 2012. It involved a barbecued fish from a street stall by the market, French fries, cake, and alcohol. It’s basically Cambodian fish and chips (plus cake and wine). Every Friday after work, I would invite several friends over to our house for this meal. We’d meet in our favourite coffee shop, order the fries and the cake, walk to get the fish (and salad), return to pick up the cake, nip next door to buy alcohol, and walk home. We had the routine down to a fine art. And Ruth was a wonderful co-host of this iconic Cambodian dinner! It was so nice to unwind after a long week with some great friends, great food, cheap alcohol, and some lighthearted films. I’ll miss our Friday fun, even if it has been months since Ruth has actually attended a Fish Friday (grrrrr.)

My weekends in Phnom Penh tend to revolve around my Saturday nights. There’s always a house party, birthday, or leaving celebration to attend. Ruth wasn’t quite such a party person but I managed to drag her on two nights out in the entire six months we lived together. Actually the second one was New Years Eve so that doesn’t even count! The first one was our way of celebrating us moving in to our new apartment. To be honest, the less said about that night the better but here are some delightful drunken pictures of us together! Oh and it was also the night we met Jess who’s become a great friend to both of us, despite the questionable first impressions we all made …

The Ruths and cocktails

The Ruths and martinis

The Ruths and Jess

The Ruths and long island iced teas

The Ruths needed to put the camera away now

But they didn’t

Someone make us stop

The Ruths and more alcohol

Ruth and I also went on holiday together. Koh Rong is an island of Sihanoukville and we went there for a long weekend with two friends from Phnom Penh. It was a wonderful, relaxing trip which revolved around poker, kayaking, swimming, and sleeping. We’d only lived together for about six weeks at the time so it was also a great time for us to get to know each other better. There’s a more detailed blog post about our antics here: Pchum Ben = Beach Party.

A bucket of pina colada is so much better than a glass!

One of my all time favourite photos of Ruth! L to R – me, Hannah, Lizzie, and Ruth

I will associate Ruth most strongly with two things: Jars of Clay and television shows. Jars of Clay is my favourite cafe here. I now live just two blocks away but when I lived with Ruth, our apartment was a whole nine blocks away. I know, it was an effort! It’s actually where we met for the first time and where we had our last meal together. We were both such regulars that the wonderful staff there wanted to know our names after a while. Unfortunately for us both, Ruth is a difficult name for Khmer people to say as their language doesn’t have the “th” sound. So we compromised and were known as “Ru” and “Lemon”. Most weekends when we lived together, Ruth and I would have at least one meal in Jars. Even after we stopped living together, we would regularly meet there and even more regularly bump into each other in Jars.

It might seem strange to many of you to associate a person with a television show. Well anyone who knows me will tell you I watch a hell of a lot of television! Ruth and I decided we wanted to watch a show together so I introduced her to my new favourite: Once Upon A Time. To say Ruth was sceptical was an understatement. She was convinced a television show about fairytales and magic was not going to be her cup of tea. Oh how wrong she was! She may not be quite as obsessed as me but it is definitely true to say Ruth is now a big fan of Once! So much of a fan in fact that we sped through all of the seasons and had to start watching another show. This time I chose one of my all time favourite cop shows, Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles for short). Ruth had accepted I have awesome taste in tv shows by now so she was more than game for another binge watch. It was great to look forward to coming home after work and watching a show we both enjoyed so much. Even after we stopped living together this tradition continued. Every Monday was Ruth and Ruth’s TV night when I would download the latest Once and Rizzles episode and we’d catch up together (if I’d managed to wait and not watch it before Ruth arrived that is). I’m currently sat on my bed, on a Monday night, not quite sure what to do with myself. Ruth, you are missed already!

Ruth was a big part of my life in Cambodia. We settled into our jobs and our apartment together, we established our routines together, she was the one who poured the glass of wine when I found out I couldn’t graduate in January, and together we tried every single type of cake Jars of Clay has to offer. I knew she was leaving for a long time, and I’m really excited for her as I think her future plans to go back to university are fantastic, but I still miss her! I will no longer half expect to see her in Jars. I will no longer have my co-host for Fish Friday, I will no longer have someone who laughs at how hysterical I get during tense television episodes.

So farewell my lovely Ruth. I wish you all the best for the future. I know you’ll excel at university, and I think you’re a fantastic writer so I can’t wait to see what you produce! And everyone go and read her blog, she’s much more eloquent than I: These Young Old Days.

Love you millions.  I’m also very much looking forward to seeing you again at Christmas when I come home to visit!!!

Our last selfie!

P.S. While the first part of the blog title is clearly a play on Charles Dickens’ novel, it is also very similar to the title of a Once Upon a Time episode. The second part is a title of a Rizzles episode. Yes, I’m that uncool!