“Burn it to a crisp or leave it raw”: Cambodian Proverbs

I’ve always been interested in cultures, specifically the differences between them. Anthropology was one of my favourite subjects at university and I continued this interest by focusing my masters’ research on Cambodia. Oh, and living in Cambodia. The culture here is unique, special, and fascinating. Recently I’ve been doing some research work which brought me into contact with some traditional Khmer proverbs. I thought I’d share some with you today as a way to offer an insight into this amazing country in which I live. And then comment on them in humorous ways, naturally.

  • “Negotiate a river by following its bends, enter a country by following its customs.”

This is important everywhere and recently Cambodia has had some problems with tourists. Naked selfies at Angkor Wat, for example. I mean, what? Who in their right mind would do that? Angkor Wat is the largest religious monument in the world. You wouldn’t walk into St. Paul’s Cathedral and strip down so why is it ok to do so at Angkor? It isn’t, they got deported.contentimage-11719-239906-knustetallerkener

  • “Don’t let an angry man wash dishes; don’t let a hungry man guard rice.”

Well, yeah, that makes sense. Although in Cambodia men rarely do the washing up so I’m not entirely sure where this came from. It’s logical though, I’ll admit.

  • “A bunch of sticks cannot be broken.”

I take this to mean alone one person can be weak/vulnerable but together we can be strong. Agreed; teamwork is the way forwards. Although, let’s be honest, a chainsaw would get through a bunch of sticks … *cough* CPP *cough*.

  • “If you know a lot, know enough to make them respect you. If you are stupid, be
    stupid enough so they can pity you.”

So basically don’t get Cs in your exams …

  • “The tiger depends on the forest; the forest depends on the tiger.”

I’ll amend this to the tiger depended on the forest … Cambodia no longer has any tigers left in the wild since they were hunted into extinction. So I suppose whoever was making their living from selling the skins didn’t hear this proverb. But more broadly, everything is interconnected; everything is important.

  • “The immature rice stalk stands erect, while the mature stalk, heavy with grain, bends over.”

Respect your (hunchbacked) elders. True, and Cambodia does this more than most western countries.

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  • “Active hands, full bellies.”

Tend your crops and reap the rewards. Makes sense, right? The more rice you plant, the more you grow to eat/sell. That can be expanded out though; work harder to earn more money.

  • “For news of the heart, ask the face.”

I like this one. Emotions show on our faces even without our knowledge. You can always tell when a friend is upset or happy or confused or in love. And they can’t hide it from those who know them best.

  • “Catch a fish without muddying the water.”

AKA be discrete. True; if you catch one fish and the water is still clear, you’ll be able to catch another. Two fish – yummy.

  • “If you are doing wrong, make sure you don’t get fat from it.”

I have no idea what this means, but I like it. Does it mean, don’t eat pizza?

  • “You don’t have to cut a tree down to get at the fruit.”

This is important in Cambodia because most people favour immediate gratification over long-term gains. So yes, you could cut down a tree to get every piece of fruit from the highest branches but then what happens next year? Make a ladder, climb up, be patient and work hard and you will receive more in the long term.

  • “Burn it to a crisp or leave it raw.”

If you’re going to do something, commit to it! Obviously this doesn’t apply to food. You can cook without taking this proverb seriously …

  • “Love is blind.”

Awwww, how cute! My Khmer friend told me this one and clearly it’s a worldwide belief. It’s true; sometimes who we’re attracted to has nothing to do with physical attributes. And why should it? It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

  • “Physical death is better than the death of your reputation.”

Is it? To be honest, I disagree but it highlights just how much importance Cambodians put on how they are viewed by others.

  • “If there is water, there is fish.”

My friend told me this one … he was rather upset when I told him I was drinking a glass of fish-less water at the time.

  • “Men are like gold, women are like white cloth.”

This sums up Khmer traditions perfectly. Scandals stick to women but the men can walk away from the mess without any repercussions. It’s accepted that men visit prostitutes before they are married but women are expected to be virgins. If a man cheats on his wife, oh well. If a woman cheats on her husband, all hell breaks loose. Different expectations for different genders are increasingly archaic as a concept and I hope to see Cambodia moving on from this soon.

So there you have it; a few of my favourite proverbs from Cambodia. There are many more but some of them don’t make sense, some of them I don’t understand and some are just plain weird! But I hope they’ve entertained you and contributed to your understanding of this amazing country.

75,000 words

Sometimes you meet someone for whom there are no words to describe your friendship. Rachel and I met in September 2014 and over the past two years have become incredibly close. Last weekend she left Cambodia for good, returning to her native Texas to start a new teaching job. As is tradition when a close friend leave, I wanted to write a blog, but I couldn’t find the right words to express just how uniquely special our friendship had become. They say a photo is worth a thousand words so I decided to let some pictures do the talking. You see, for eighteen months Rachel and I have been collecting photos of the two of us whilst drinking. They’re known as Ruth and Rachel’s Drunken Selfies. The only exception to the drinking rule is when we’re on holiday (although alcohol was often involved then too). Take a journey now through the many, many, many nights out and let the photos speak.

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The photo that started it all. Pontoon, March 7th 2015
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Post-dodgeball tournament, complete with referee whistle. Duplex, March 21st 2015
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Just a regular Saturday night! Pontoon, March 28th 2015
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No Secrets Party. Duplex, April 4th 2015
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Sunset on Koh Chang, Thailand. Gu Bay, April 14th 2015
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Met this young, fun Swiss boy on a night out on Koh Chang, Thailand. Himmel’s Bar, April 14th 2015
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Rachel’s birthday night out. I have a hat stealing compulsion when drunk. Duplex, April  18th 2015
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Post-Showbox free beers for Rachel’s 27th birthday. Street 330, April 21st 2015
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Drunken dodgeball break ball fun. Street 456, April 21st 2015
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Acquired a tiger mask from the Phnom Penh Players performance of Romeo and Juliet. A perfect selfie prop! Duplex, April 25th 2015
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Through a mosquito net. Arcadia Backpackers, Kampot, May 1st 2015
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We found a colourful cock to pose with! Arcadia Backpackers, Kampot, May 1st 2015
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A rather windy boat ride. Somewhere between Kep and Rabbit Island, May 2nd 2015
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Beers on the beach, frisbee in the sea, sunbathing on the sand. Rabbit Island, May 2nd 2015
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Date night. Just Ruth and Rachel and a couple of bottles of wine. Wunder Bar, April 2nd 2015
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Happy Cinco De Mayo from drunken Ruth and Rachel! We took over 80 selfies last night and I’ve narrowed it down to just these two! Someone came prepared for this picture! Pontoon, May 5th 2015
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Second Cinco De Mayo. Pontoon, May 5th 2015

 

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Love: it’s all about the butt and legs! Howie, May 8th 2015
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Even though we didn’t go out together on Friday, we still managed to get a drunken selfie! Rachel’s bed, May 22nd 2015
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Yet another hat stealing night. Pontoon, May 23rd 2015
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It’s true, we really do! Street 450, May 30th 2015
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An insanely attractive photo of R and R here – and yes, there is a Mr Competitive sash around both offs. Thanks Brian for the loan of that. Howie, May 30th 2015
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Sunset and cocktail time! Living the high life in Phnom Penh and showing that, sometimes, drinking can be classy. Frangipani Hotel, June 5th 2015
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My “r” themed birthday party. Rachel was a riding cowgirl and I was a reptile. House 74, Street 450, June 6th 2015
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We were in the freezer at this point of my party … House 74, Street 450, June 6th 2015
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Selfie with the selfie wall. House 74, Street 450, June 6th 2015
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Sometimes we hang out in classy places and don’t get hideously drunk … until later in the evening. June 12th 2015
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Later that same night … Heart of Darkness, June 12th 2015
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Vietnam-Cambodia border. June 18th 2015
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Underwater selfie … always attractive. Pho Quoc, June 19th 2015
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Go Pro! Phu Quoc, June 19th 2015
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Temples. Phu Quoc, June 20th 2015
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Posers! Phu Quoc, June 20th 2015
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Phu Quoc, June 20th 2015
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Monsoon, Phu Quoc, June 20th 2015
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There was a neon party. Apparently. Clearly I didn’t go … July 2nd 2015
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Dressing up as something beginning with ‘b’ for dodgeball. Two barangs (French people in Khmer). Street 456, July 16th 2015
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Another barang shot. Street 456, July 16th 2015
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We also went dressed as disco balls for a ‘d’ themed dodgeball. Everyone was covered with glitter by the end of the night! Street 456, July 2015
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Possibly my favourite R and R selfie! Bouchon, July 2015
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From what we can remember, someone told us they were leaving and we tried to persuade them to stay by declaring them users if they left … Bouchon, July 2015
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The day Rachel left for 4 months of traveling with a backpack almost as big as her! Our 6am goodbye was almost teary .. also, I had an eye infection hence the squint! Phnom Penh airport, August 17th 2015
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And four months later she returned! Beer and tuk tuk lady joined the reunion. House 74, Street 450, January 4th 2016
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Look how happy we are to be reunited! And in our favourite restaurant once more. Jars of Clay, January 7th 2016
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Drinks! Frangipani Rooftop Bar. January 2016
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And the nights out are back! Howie, January 2016
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Heading for pork and rice with Jordan and Sophorn. Part way down Mao Tse Tung. February 2016
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Rachel came to my work one Saturday to see the village. Sovann Komar Children’s Village on the Mekong. February 2016

 

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A happy Nugget in our apartment … February 2016
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Sihanoukville. February 2016
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Beach selfie! Sihanoukville, 2016
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Sunset beach selfie. Sihanoukville, February 2016
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Awwww. Sihanoukville, February 2016
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Swimming and watching the crazies cliff-jumping. Sihanoukville, February 2016
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This cow joined us for a picnic … Sihanoukville, February 2016
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Another beach selfie. Sihanoukville, February 2016
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True love. Sihanoukville, February 2016
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Morning cocktails because why not! Sihanoukville, February 2016
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World Food Festival. Olympic Stadium, March 2016
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Somewhere probably on Street 51 … March 2016
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The middle of Mao Tse Tung on Rachel’s birthday. April 21st 2016
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Rachel’s birthday dodgeball. Street 456, April 21st 2016
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Rachel’s birthday massage. Anna’s Spa, April 2016
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A bucket list item for Rachel. Koh Rong, May 2016
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A photo Rachel has no recollection of. Heart of Darkness, June 2016
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Paint balling with Jordan and others somewhere in Kandal. June 2016
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Sunbathing with wine at Mark’s pool. August 9th 2016
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Rachel’s final dodgeball. Street 456, August 11th 2016

 

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Khmer-style photoshoot to finish off Rachel’s time in Cambodia! Monivong Boulevard, August 12th 2016
MMFC0011Posing as a couple! Monivong Boulevard, August 12th 2016
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Jumping for joy! Monivong Boulevard, August 12th 2016
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Cheese! Monivong Boulevard, August 12th 2016
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We had to get a pic of us taking a pic … Monivong Boulevard, August 12th 2016
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Final night out. Thanks to Mervin and David for the loan of your glasses. Reggae Rooftop, August 12th 2016
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The last ever photo … snap chatted. August 12th 2016

Rachel, Cambodia won’t be the same without you. Love you always. x

Seven Years in the Making

It will be seven years in January since I first left England to live in Cambodia, on and off of course. But it wasn’t until November 2015 that my parents finally came to visit me. And I had to make sure the holiday was worth the wait.

The route:

Siem Reap

Phnom Penh

Kampot

Phnom Penh

Mondulkiri

Phnom Penh

The reason we went to Phnom Penh three times? Because Cambodia’s road network looks like a spider with every highway stemming from the capital and none of them linking up outside of the metropolis.

So let’s start with the temples in Siem Reap. This wasn’t a difficult part of the holiday to make awesome. I mean, it’s Angkor Wat! The ancient structures wow over one million tourists every year and my parents were among them as we wandered through the colossal stone structures. We actually started, rather unorthodoxly, with Ta Prohm. This is my favourite temple and also the one where Tomb Raider was filmed (for about one minute). It’s been left partially to the jungle with giant trees draped over the stones and undergrowth slowly encroaching from all sides. It’s magical.

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Big tree, teeny tiny parentals

On to Bayon which is part of Angkor Thom. Basically it’s the one with the big faces everyone knows. 

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Angkor Wat was our final stop on our first day. It’s just as amazing to me now as it first was almost ten years ago. Unfortunately some health and safety laws have come into play (yes even in Cambodia our fun is ruined) and because of building works we weren’t able to climb to the very top. Still pretty cool though, right?

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Angkor Wat Selfie!

On our second day we headed out to the Tonle Sap lake where you can visit fishing villages which float on this giant body of water. To be honest, I wouldn’t recommend the experience. I went a few years ago and since then the site has become a money making, tourist extorting, generally unpleasant place to be. The village itself is picturesque but you get constantly asked to donate rice to children who are “orphans”. $50 for a twenty kilo bag of rice! It should cost about $10. And even after I explained that I work at an orphanage, they still tried to get us to donate money. It was pushy, rude, misleading and left us with a sour taste in our mouths. And then to top it off, as soon as we disembarked from the boat, a little girl appeared trying to sell me a ceramic plate with a picture of my own face on! Creepy or what?

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Traditional floating village scene

The day got better though when we hiked up a stupidly steep hill to a temple and discovered a wonderful view over the Tonle Sap lake. In fact, after a brief meeting I had arranged for my SKOPE project, we returned that evening and watched a glorious sunset.

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The final day in Siem Reap took us out to the remote temples: Kbal Spean and Banteay Srey. The former is actually not a temple but carvings in a river bed. Different, beautiful, and rewarding after the 1.5km hike up the hill.

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Kbal Spean

Banter Srey was nicer before it made its way onto the Chinese tourist bus route. It’s a tiny temple made of pink sandstone with the most intricate and beautiful carvings over every inch of it.

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Banteay Srey

On the way back to the city, we stopped at the Landmine Museum where we were lucky enough to arrive at the same time an American worker was starting a tour which was incredibly informative even for someone who’s got a Masters in the subject. That evening we went to the Phare Cambodian Circus – amazing!

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That’s high!

I was glad to be leaving Siem Reap, to be honest. I was looking forward to going home and showing my parents a real Cambodian city rather than the tourist centre Siem Reap has become. The weekend in Phnom Penh was touristy too though: Royal Palace, National Museum, Wat Phnom, Riverside, accompanied by several of my favourite restaurants. They only got lost once (well, there was a miscommunication with Tuk Tuk Lady but she was terrified that she’d lost my parents when they didn’t reappear after they went to the Royal Palace!)

Kampot remains my favourite place in Cambodia and we spent three full days in the sleepy riverside town. To be honest there isn’t much to say about our wonderfully relaxing time. Our guesthouse, Greenhouse, was right on the bank of the river and my mum and I swam across at least once a day. We took a countryside tour to see the caves and rice paddies one day before having lunch in Kep, a seaside town famous for its crab. We also hired bicycles and cycled up to an old temple. The hill was incredibly steep but I was really looking forward to going back down … until my front tyre got a flat about thirty seconds into my downhill dash. Ever tried to carry a bicycle upside down on the back of a moto? The Khmers make it look easy – it’s not.

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Swimming in the Kampot river

Back up to Phnom Penh and my parents came into work with me (after getting lost in a tuk tuk again the night before). It was great for them to meet some of the kids I teach and also the children at Sovann Komar to whom they’ve donated money several times over the years. They also met my bosses and saw me in action in the classroom. My parents wanted to get presents for the kids and I suggested some world maps. Their geographical knowledge is generally poor (one kid pointed to Canada when I asked them to find Cambodia …) and I am really pushing for them to get a greater understanding of the world and other countries.

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Handing out maps in Grade 5
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Handing out maps in Grade 4

I then had to work on Saturday in the provinces (blog upcoming about that) so my parents spent Saturday morning doing the necessary but depressing genocide tour – Toul Sleng detention centre and Choeung Ek killing field. But then I returned and cheered them up with a takeaway and Tomb Raider (it’s obligatory viewing if you’re in Cambodia.)

Our final trip was up to Mondulkiri in the east of the country. I’d not been before so I was really excited. The town itself, Sen Monorom, is nothing special but the main attraction of the area are the elephants. There are several sanctuaries working up there to rescue these majestic beasts from logging work, tourist riding companies, and other industries. We first stayed at Tree Lodge in a wooden bungalow but  it was a little too rustic even for me. I mean, the spider in our bathroom was, legs included, the size of my hand. And the frog by my bed was huge too. We moved into a place with a ceiling which connected to the walls which connected to the floor the next day. Not sure how much safer it was though because my mum still managed to trip over a drain and fall down that evening. Funny in hindsight, slightly terrifying at the time when heard clattering noise, turned around and saw her rolling into the road.

Elephants are amazing. I mean, they’re just incredible. We went with a group called the Mondulkiri Project who have four elephants in 30 hectares of forest. Sophie, Princess, Lucky, and Chi Chan (moon in Khmer). We spent the morning feeding them bananas (Princess lived up to her name and insisted we place the food directly into her mouth) and following them as they wandered freely through the jungle.

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Feeding Sophie

We then had lunch before heading back down and over a “bridge” to a small waterfall where we were split into two groups so we could wash the elephants! One by one, Princess and Lucky waded into the water and sat down. You then see a rather strange sight of several Westerners in bikinis with scrubbing brushes around these amazing creatures. I washed Lucky with my parents and the whole experience was just spectacular!

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Elephant scrubbing!

And that was it! We headed back to Phnom Penh, spent an afternoon on the silk island, went to Raffles, did some last minute shopping and stocked up for the Christmas Markets I’ve since done for SKOPE (blog coming soon) and we were off back to England where my parents returned home after seven weeks of holiday and I came back after ten months to celebrate Christmas in the cold once more.

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Cheers to a bloody good holiday!
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Dad at Ta Prohm
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Mum at Ta Prohm
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Posing at one of the smaller temples
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Family Portrait
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Kids playing in the moat around Angkor Wat
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The classic shot
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Monks in Angkor Wat
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Fishing in the floating village
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Panorama from the top of the temple overlooking the swollen Tonle Sap Lake
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Even monks’ motos break sometimes

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A working pagoda beside Angkor Wat
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In the mouth of a tree on the way up to Kbal Spean
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First monsoon in a tuk tuk
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Fresh crab arriving in Kep
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Rice harvest
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The view over Kampot
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Caving
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Dad’s new best friend after he used the parentals’ binoculars
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New family pet?
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The moment mum caught the bag of bananas and nearly fell over in the river
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Just showing off my camera here …
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I was waiting for her to fall … she didn’t
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Sitting in the river on Silk Island on our penultimate day
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Final Cambodian sunset for me of 2015